he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
