I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
