It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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