..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
