I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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