Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
