Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
