I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
