I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
