no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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