Your tits are I can't wait for
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize