mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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