i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
