her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
