I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
