she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
