i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
