I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
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