...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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