Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
