32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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