I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
