it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
