Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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