CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
