WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize