He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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