Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
