Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
