it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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