Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
