Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
