I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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