Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So much rum. So many feels.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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