It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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