would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize