the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
