Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
