normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
