nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
