your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
