Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
