How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
