Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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