i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
