apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
