don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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