Midget sex pt 2 tonight
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
