i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
