I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
