I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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