I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
