just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
