she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
