apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
