Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
