I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
