so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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