A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
