she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize