We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
