Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
