there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
